A delightful cafe in the small village of Westby, Wisconsin

So Ole Says to Lena

*Some Good Norwegian Fun*

  One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally

cured her nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. "Good

gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" "It vas really simple,"

was Lena's reply. "I yust hid his teeth.                                                       

                                                                                                                                                                                                        

  Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet." "How come?" asked Lars.

"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."                                   
 
 
 
Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it
 
take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? "Just a minute," said the busy clerk.
 
"Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."
                                                                                       
 
 
"Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson.
 
He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was
 
selling, they would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer. Ole
 
responded that they were paying for the house on what they were saving on
 
rent. And they were saving on movie tickets with the price of cable TV."
 
Finally, Ole said, "And we're saving on laundry with the new washer and
 
dryer. So, I guess ve have to say, ve can't afford to save any more right now."
 
 
 

Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes lineup on one

side of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other.

The Swedes throw firecrackers at the Norwegians.

Then, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and throw them back.       

                                                                                                                                                                                        

 

 Lena likes going to her class reunions. She says it is fun to see all those old faces and new teeth.

 

 

 So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the freeway, he calls up

Lena and he says, "Oh, Lena, I'm calling you from the freeway on my
 
new car phone."             
                                           

And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is
 
driving the wrong way on the freeway."

And Ole says, "One nut  heck, there are hundreds of them!"
 
 
 
So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he slips on a wet rock
 
and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and he falls twenty
 
feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. And there he
 
is, he's hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him -- certain
 
death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this bush
 
and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?"
 
And he hears a deep voice ringing out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. It's the
 
Lord, Ole. Have faith. Let go of that bush and I will save you."   Ole looked
 
down, and he looked up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there?"                                                                             
 
 
 
Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. The boss noticed and asked where
 
he had been.

Ole: "Getting a haircut."

Boss: "On company time?"                          
      
Ole: "It grew on company time."

Boss: "Not all of it." 

Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off." 
 
 
                                                     
 
 
   Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of
 
morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There
 
will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been
 
declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets."
 
Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK."

Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning
 
coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow
 
today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on
 
the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and
 
replies, "Jeez, OK."

Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee
 
and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a
 
snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and
 
then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He
 
says to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replies,
 
"Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage."
 
 

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